http://ianlafo.com/antique-doll-house/
Antique Doll House
Do you think this is a good scary story? (I wrote)?
one day a girl named Tiffany received a letter saying VISIT TOY aged HOME 3456, Elm Street 1245 for tiffany minnesota asked his mother and she said yes so we both went there after 30 minutes of looking at Tiffany, finally chose it,''said the mother! Mommy! I want this! the wrist was red and piercing eyes and small teeth that her mom said que''eso is a doll just for boys! "That left went to bed a little sad and woke in the middle of the night and saw the doll! Doll said ina evil voice "thank you for choosing" was frightened by the wrist, said, "but I'm not yours" back to sleep worrying about if you see him / her again the next day she was frozen stiff couldent get out of bed until her mother woke up that night I saw told me: "I'll make you go sleep "forever! tiffany shouted to his parents, but occurred in only antuqe saw the smiling doll in bed tiffany tiffany, but not we all, this is my first After writing a scary story!
Is this a joke? Obviously you've never written anything before. The plot is so cliche, that has been done before. The story does not have any details. Why would a girl wants a doll with red eyes and sharp teeth? There were probably afraid of him. All this is a shame .. Put punctuation, and do it properly. Do not start a story with "One Day", "Once upon a time", etc, etc, just do not take anyone in. You need some kind of hook. that is, "Tiffany eyes from the paper, trying to make words stretched across the page in letters of gold" etc etc etc … has great potential but it's pretty far away.
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